Failure...

Tonight was heart breaking. 

My training volume has been huge lately (for me anyway), my sleep has been low, and I haven't had time to eat enough.  Well, tonight that all caught up with me.

I set out on my long run, and was feeling flat right away.  About 4 miles in I was struggling to maintain my VDOT LSD pace and I was sweating buckets.  I considered bagging it at 6 miles but I drank 16 oz of water and felt better.  I did my 2 miles of VDOT race pace (which was stupid), but again I wasn't able to hold that pace as well. 

I did pretty well until about mile 6.55, my half way point where I stopped to drink and eat a gu.  My drink break was long, and I had a hard time getting going again.

At about 8 miles, I was suffering.  I stopped to refill my fuel belt for the second time. 

By mile 10, I had to stop and take my socks off.  My feet were so soaked with sweat that I couldn't stand them anymore.  Wicking tech socks == fail.  I had to sit down for a while and recover.  There was just literally nothing left.  I've experienced "I don't want to run anymore" plenty of times, but this wasn't that.  This was, "I physically cannot run...not a 10 minute mile, not a 12 minute mile..."  I took on even more water...I was at something like 64 oz in at this point.

I walked for about 5 minutes and then started back into a jog, only to have to stop again at around mile 12.  I was sick, dizzy, foggy...  I've been to that place before and it's never good.  I ran the last half mile home.

It sucks to fail.  It happens though...and it's a good reminder for me.  That's what it feels like to walk a half marathon.  It doesn't feel good.  I need to do what it takes to make sure that doesn't happen on race day. 

At this point that looks like:
Make sleep and recovery a priority
Don't push more training in than your body can absorb
Keep your calories up

If I can't then I have no business doing breakthrough workouts and I need to adapt appropriately.  I have big goals that require big doses of training, but big doses of training require big doses of recovery protocol. Being a triathlete is about a lifestyle...you can't just do the workouts.  You have to live around the workouts.  Even when you aren't training, you're recovering, fueling, and planning.  I need to do a little bit better on that, or I'm going to have more walking in my future.  Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to a bowl of pasta and a soft bed.